UNDERWATER72

I hate my life. I don't know why I survived cancer. I am a total loser with nothing to live for and I don't know why my life was spared. I have nothing. I am nothing. I go to a job everyday where I am not appreciated, that pays me barely above poverty level. And my family....my dad is helping hold a "fundraiser" for a couple at his church that is raising money to adopt a kid.....come on...I finally spoke my mind when I said "it would've been nice if someone helped me when I had CANCER". I think it pissed him off. OH WELL.

I am tired of living near loud asshole neighbors, too. I am courteous to everyone around me, but I don't receive the same in return. I live amongst trash and freaks that do whatever they please whenever they please. All this of course is because I am a loser and can't do any better for myself.

I am tired of my boss saying whatever he thinks without thinking about it first. I'm sick of dealing with his flip-flop way of treating me...one minute he's extremely nice and the next thing you know he's got his other pesonality working for him. And working in the industry I do all in itself is stressful....I never know when I'm going to be thrown out the back door.....it sucks.

I am afraid that I am sliding back into the depressed black hole that I was in about a month ago. This terrifies me greatly. I don't want to feel like that ever again!!!!

I just wish I could curl up into a ball and disappear forever. I hate my life.